I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize