If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
