I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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