I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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