He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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