I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
