It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize