but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
