Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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