so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
