You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
