Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize