So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
