Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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