So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Send help, water and tortillas.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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