Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
