Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
