Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
