If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
