Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
