how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
