And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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