also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
