I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
