Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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