I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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