Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
