I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
