He is such a slut. More and more my type.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize