Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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