Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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