census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
