Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry denise2390 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(424): View more from California

you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain

Fav 3 1209 2011
share tweet
(919): View more from North Carolina

So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?

Fav 13 882 3747
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(662): View more from Mississippi

They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.

Fav 70 10808 1667
share tweet
(414): View more from Wisconsin

you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...

Fav 22 7106 1019
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.

(415): View more from California

Why?

(206): View more from Washington

Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.

Fav 15 2072 4750
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???

Fav 6 3596 1586
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(281): View more from Texas

I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.

Fav 5 2573 1820
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?

Fav 1 86 69
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT

Fav 1 39 51
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT