he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
How's work?
Spinning.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
