What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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