A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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