He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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