It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
