he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
