She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
