it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
did you just send me my own nude
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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