Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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