So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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