I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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