it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
