I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
