i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
