Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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