I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
