So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
