no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
