Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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