So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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