Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
