the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize