how do flat chested girls get laid?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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