I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
